Why does the addict mind disregard/hate the Christian Gospel and Faith in Jesus Christ?

Why are so many admittedly seeking spiritual understanding and fulfillment, but completely against anything to do with the Church or Christianity?

  • I feel that the Christian Gospel cannot be received until the person hearing it has been ‘made receptive’ by a removal or disarming of their ego.
  • I think the reason so many people genuinely participating in recovery and truly desiring to remain sober and have long-term sobriety are more willing and open to a relationship with Jesus Christ because of their having legitimate recognition of thier own inability to remain accountable to themselves; such people have already gone through the degrading process of addiction and the stripping down of thier ego through suffering and withdrawal, which has removed the strength of the ego, thus opening themselves up to receiving something greater than themselves (i.e. Christ) into their hearts, to accepting themselves as a miniscule part of that something bigger than themselves, and to acknowledging their need for structure, security, and stability rooted in something other than themselves.

When a person has no ‘reason to need such things’, or desire such things, why would they?

  • Even if a person does not acknowledge or have awareness of thier need for improvement, there is certainly no denying that an addict has obvious failed to successfully develop and sustain a positive, productive, and peaceful life on their own. And of all the changes a person could make to improve their life and situation, Jesus Christ is certainly the greatest, as demonstrated by true Christians all over the world (NOT by organized religion, but those with a real, personal, living relationship with Jesus).
  • The Gospel changes a person wholly inside and out, which will not be desired by those that do not yet realize they must change. Many think that the drug or the addiction was a single flaw in an otherwise perfect picture. This is not true, because the addiction is not an independent problem, it is not a cause either. It is a symptom of deeper problems, which manifest themselves as psychological and later physical dependence to drugs for coping with an overwhelming surrounding, interactive, experiential life.
  • The Gospel is a seed, which upon being planted, must be fed. It grows with not water or sunlight, but diligent study of God’s Word; the keeping of oneself reading the Scriptures. The Holy Spirit indwells you upon Salvation, and requires the written Word of God as food to undergo the continual process of Sanctification.

Why do some people despise and disregard the spirituality of a relationship with Jesus Christ when it comes to recovery from drug addiction?

  • I think that this is due to the incredible clinging of the addicted mind to the sinful nature of the flesh in physical satisfaction, fulfilling personal desires, and a fear of morality correction. The inner-addict wanting to salvage its presence in the person. When a person comes to Christ, they are no longer left to their free immorality, in the sense that the Holy Spirit convicts one who has professed their faith, driving them to discomfort and distaste to immoral acts and thoughts, which are required for the addict’s lifestyle.
  • The addict has become fully saturated with selfishness, and due to his corrupted sense of justification, which compels him to evermore victimization, he rewards and indulges himself with all immoral and sinful desires. Lusting due to his sinful nature, he sees God as an end to his own self-indulgence, as an unwanted accountability, and an infringement upon his own free living.
  • It is true, that the sinful addict will be righteously judged and annihilated by God, but this is all the more reason to hear the Gospel and experience the conviction of the Holy Spirit by which you can repent of your sins and receive salvation through Jesus Christ.
  • God does not will that He annihilate any person, but as man chooses to disobey and live in sin, God’s Holiness is law, and even God cannot go against His laws. God desires a loving relationship with us, as He sent His only begotten Son to save us, and teach us the way, and provide us a way back to His good graces.
  • Repentance is referred to in God’s Word (the Holy Bible) 121 times; as it is very important for one to repent, to turn from their sin and sinful nature, and desire a purification through baptism of the Holy Spirit.

What else contributes to the adverse reactions commonly had to the Gospel by addicts, characterized by anger, disdain, unbelief, and irritability? Why do they typically seem jealous, or somehow ineligible, or stubbornly unwanting of Christ’s loving salvation? What has contributed to their convincing themselves that they do not need the saving Grace of Jesus Christ?

  • When one does not have sufficient knowledge of the Gospel, they fill in the blanks with assumption. This causes a powerful confusion as to ‘how it works’. Many do not believe the Word of God, or the fact that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross cleanses the believer of their sins. If they would dedicate a fraction of the time to reading the Bible that they spend disrespecting it, hating Christians, or talking negatively about the Faith of Christians, they would certainly learn and gain insight to the truth they are currently confused about and insufficiently informed of.
  • I believe that the misinformation, disinformation, misrepresentation, and massive quantity of those perverting the Gospel and it’s message, falsely proclaiming wrong doctrine, and displaying unbiblical values under the banner of Jesus Christ all contribute to the unbeliever’s and the inexperienced layman’s repulsion at the idea of investing in God’s Word or a relationship with Jesus Christ.
  • Compared to the larger percentage of those claiming to be ‘Christian’ in the world, when in reality they are merely participating in a shallow, hollow, organized religion of man-made traditions, ritual, and ceremonial law. This is not true Christianity, but unfortunately represents to most what being Christian looks like.

What is so great about having a Saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ through the Gospel?

  • Having such knowledge enables one to establish a relationship with the Lord and Most High God and claim their eternal future life in Heaven, rather than being damned to hell- an eternal seperation from God, held in a place of purifying flames, wailing and gnashing of teeth…
  • Being cleansed and forgiven of one’s sin is difficult to describe in mere words the kind of weight lifted off one’s shoulders. Being placed in good standing in the eyes of God our Father through the perfected righteousness of the Son, Jesus Christ, aligns one to God’s will, thus setting you up for continual blessings, rather than curses.
  • It answers the big questions of life: Who am I? Why am I? Where am I going? All of these questions are answered and life makes sense in a way that was impossible before, and you will immediately realize just how much negativity and anxiety was being manifested throughout your life outof not understanding the answers to such questions up unto the point of your conversion.
  • It comes down to having contentment. Content that I am saved. Content that I have eternal life in Heaven. Content that Jesus is with me, in me, and Him for me and I for Him. There is a protected place in my mind and in my heart, that nothing of this world, nothing in this life could ever touch. The truth has set me free. The truth that Christ is Lord, that I have His Holy Spirit, that I have His Eternal Word, I have been forgiven, I am loved, and I am a precious creation that was led astray by the sinful nature of the flesh, but have been able to get back to the Lord’s intended way of life…I have salvation, hope, peace of mind, and eternal life in the presence of Almighty God! The Divine Creator of ALL!!!
  • It is aligning oneself with the law(s) of the universal creator, our God Jesus Christ. Disobedience is swept away. God’s law is a restrictive, tremendous, and dominant force only to the lawbreaker (sinner). To keep the law is to be kept by it; to move freely and serenely within it. To violate the law is to feel the heavy displeasure and opposition of God. Courage, strength, and security which God bestows is the natural heritage of every honorable person. It is only the individual who has some ulterior motives within himself who resents God and His law, or regards Him as any infringement upon his own liberty. For all liberty is liberty under law and law under God; liberty within the great structure of God given law. And the greatest liberty man has is the liberty and right of a voluntary, personal adjustment by which he can choose immediately to align himself with the great patterns by which God’s universe is sustained. Thus with God, we can gradually come into a friendly relationship by hearing the Gospel of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Why are so many admittedly seeking spiritual understanding and fulfillment, but completely against anything to do with the Church or Christianity?

  • I feel that the Christian Gospel cannot be received until the person hearing it has been made receptive by a removal or disarming of the ego.
  • I think that the reason so many people that genuinely participate in recovery and truly desire to remain sober and have long-term sobriety are more willing and open to a relationship with Jesus Christ is because of their having already gone through the degrading process of addiction; the stripping down through suffering and withdrawal has removed the strength of the ego in those individuals, which opens them up to receiving Christ into their hearts, to accepting themselves as a miniscule part of something bigger than themselves, and to acknowledging their need for structure, security, and stability rooted in something other than themselves.

When a person has no reason to need such things, or desire such things, why would they?

  • The Gospel changes a person wholly inside and out, which will not be desired by those that do not yet realize they must change. Many think that the drug or the addiction was a single flaw in an otherwise perfect picture. This is not true, because the addiction is not an independent problem, it is not a cause either. It is a symptom of deeper problems, which manifest themselves as psychological and later physical dependence to drugs for coping with an overwhelming surrounding, interactive, experiential life.
  • The Gospel is a seed, which upon being planted, must be fed. It grows with not water or sunlight, but diligent study of God’s Word; the keeping of oneself reading the Scriptures. The Holy Spirit indwells you upon Salvation, and requires the written Word of God as food to undergo the continual process of Sanctification.

Why do some people despise and disregard the spirituality of a relationship with Jesus Christ when it comes to recovery from drug addiction?

  • I think that this is due to the incredible clinging of the addicted mind to the sinful nature of the flesh in physical satisfaction, fulfilling personal desires, and a fear of morality correction. The inner-addict wanting to salvage its presence in the person. When a person comes to Christ, they are no longer left to their free immorality, in the sense that the Holy Spirit convicts one who has professed their faith, driving them to discomfort and distaste to immoral acts and thoughts, which are required for the addict’s lifestyle.
  • The addict has become fully saturated with selfishness, and due to his corrupted sense of justification, which compels him to evermore victimization, he rewards and indulges himself with all immoral and sinful desires. Lusting due to his sinful nature, he sees God as an end to his own self-indulgence, as an unwanted accountability, and an infringement upon his own free living.
  • It is true, that the sinful addict will be righteously judged and annihilated by God, but this is all the more reason to hear the Gospel and experience the conviction of the Holy Spirit by which you can repent of your sins and receive salvation through Jesus Christ.
  • God does not will that He annihilate any person, but as man chooses to disobey and live in sin, God’s Holiness is law, and even God cannot go against His laws. God desires a loving relationship with us, as He sent His only begotten Son to save us, and teach us the way, and provide us a way back to His good graces.
  • Repentance is referred to in God’s Word (the Holy Bible) 121 times; as it is very important for one to repent, to turn from their sin and sinful nature, and desire a purification through baptism of the Holy Spirit.

What else contributes to the reactions to the Gospel characterized by anger, disdain, unbelief, and irritability? Why do they typically seem jealous, or somehow ineligible for Christ’s loving salvation, thus convincing themselves that they do not need the saving Grace of Jesus Christ?

  • When one does not have sufficient knowledge of the Gospel, they fill in the blanks with assumption. This causes a powerful confusion as to ‘how it works’. Many do not believe the Word of God, or the fact that Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross cleanses the believer of their sins. If they would dedicate a fraction of the time to reading the Bible that they spend disrespecting it, hating Christians, or talking negatively about the Faith of Christians, they would certainly learn and gain insight to the truth they are currently confused about and insufficiently informed of.

What is so great about having a Saving Knowledge of Jesus Christ through the Gospel?

  • It comes down to having contentment. Content that I am saved. Content that I have eternal life in Heaven. Content that Jesus is with me, in me. There is a protected place in my mind, in my heart, that nothing of this world, nothing in this life could touch. The truth has set me free. The truth that Christ is Lord, that I have His Holy Spirit, that I have His Eternal Word…I have salvation, hope, peace of mind, and eternal life in the presence of Almighty God! The Divine Creator of ALL!!!
  • It is aligning oneself with the law(s) of the universal creator, our God Jesus Christ. Disobedience is swept away. God’s law is a restrictive, tremendous, and dominant force only to the lawbreaker (sinner). To keep the law is to be kept by it; to move freely and serenely within it. To violate the law is to feel the heavy displeasure and opposition of God. Courage, strength, and security which God bestows is the natural heritage of every honorable person. It is only the individual who has some ulterior motives within himself who resents God and His law, or regards Him as any infringement upon his own liberty. For all liberty is liberty under law and law under God; liberty within the great structure of God given law. And the greatest liberty man has is the liberty and right of a voluntary, personal adjustment by which he can choose immediately to align himself with the great patterns by which God’s universe is sustained. Thus with God, we can gradually come into a friendly relationship by hearing the Gospel of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Is Methadone Maintenance Really That Bad?

This Blog is a rant that should entertain anyone in the know about the world of methadone clinics.

Is Methadone maintenance really that bad?! I know I have been slacking on my blogs lately, but I have been very busy with school, the ministry for recovering addicts has begun, and I have just been slammed with other various responsibilities and obligations. But, I have to vent about something. I cannot keep this quietly brewing inside any longer, for I fear that next time I attend a group meeting at the clinic, I am going to explode with rage. I really feel for the counselors putting up with such immense ignorance and disrespect on a daily basis while dedicating their lives to helping the very ones disrespecting them.

As I have been taking methadone now for just over two years, I have learned many things. When I look back to my life of active addiction and compare it to my life I have established now- the life that I have built around taking methadone and participating in the program that coincides with the medication- I cannot see a single downfall to it. I have reached a level of stability, satisfaction, meaning and purpose, relationship, interaction, participation, enjoyment, and contentment through taking methadone that was and is otherwise impossible for me to achieve. But when I hear the feelings and thoughts of certain others in the program, I often hear many complaints. I am not even going to address the comments and opinions of people outside of the world of methadone or opiate addiction, and recovery in general, for they are completely uninformed, inexperienced, judgmental, ignorant, uncompassionate, etc. and therefore their opinions are invalid. But in regard to those that are informed, that are experienced, and most of all benefiting from the medicine and treatment, i.e. the counseling and support groups, I just cannot relate to the negative perspectives, nor do I agree with the negative ideas. Comparing the life of heroin addiction, dependence to illicit drugs, or hard to get prescription drugs, being on methadone is a joy. It is a God-send. It is a miraculous diamond in the sh*t pile. But pondering these people harboring and spewing negative claims about methadone maintenance, I can only assume they never had it that bad during their active addiction. Their addiction experience, which has apparently broken them enough to land in a treatment facility, must have actually been comparable to a typical wednesday for a REAL addict living the ‘heroin life’. And I am not boasting in some self-righteous manner as if I or others who truly struggled for many years (10 years for me) in real, hardcore, unspeakable and degrading ways, but I cannot grasp how somebody could be so whiny about the luxury opiate services of methadone maintenance.

I will start by giving a detailed insight to my struggles during active addiction that no longer exist because of my participation in a methadone program. When I was using, I spent a minimum of several hours of my day -and often near most of my day- seeking, hunting, and obtaining the drug, whether this time was consumed by mindless waiting, obtaining money or transportation, or contacting a dealer or source for getting the dope. On methadone, I spend a tiny fraction of that time getting my medicine. Many people complain about driving to the clinic, which I can understand, but it is a blessing that we have no uncertainties in getting our daily doses, and we know for a fact that when we arrive at the clinic, we are taken care of. Even if 2 or 3 hours of driving is required, add 10 minutes in time actually inside the clinic, you have still spent far less time in the day obtaining your ‘go-go juice’ than if you were still strung out on dope. Another complaint is the money. How can somebody complain about $100 for a WHOLE WEEK!!?? I used to spend twice and sometimes three times that PER DAY! I see so many people on welfare that still complain about the money that they owe for missing appointments! People that lie and battle over their obvious and clearly indicated dirty urine tests! Just be happy you are still in the program and getting the medicine in the first place!

This all really gets me angry, because how in the world did these people support an addiction bad enough to require methadone to get clean in the first place? That is beyond me and my comprehension. Not only does the clinic offer opiate receptor satisfaction for a super low and affordable price, they even let you dose on loan, meaning they will let you pay late. When I was using, it was a rare and strange thing for a dealer to front me my ‘medicine’. Even dealers that I spent well over $1,000 per week with would not spot me more than a $20 or $30 bag to keep me afloat while I sought a way to get more money. And I wouldn’t be able to score again until I had them paid up. I am not on welfare, I have to pay money I do not have also, and yeah nobody likes a bill, but I am so happy because I do not look at it as costing me $100 per week, but saving me $1,100 per week, becasuse that is what I had to squeeze out of life every week while on heroin.

Another complaint is the rules of group meetings. We, as full grown adults, should not require written rules, let alone have them repeated several times per week, because the rules are common sense for those with respect and discipline. The least one could do is honor the establishment that we owe our lives to, the counselors who dedicate their time and energy to developing topics and curriculum designed to help us in our recovery and life, with good behavior and positive attitudes. But instead, everyone erupts with irrelevant brain vomit every time one person says anything. There is constant side-talk, interruptions every time somebody says anything, and for some reason people cannot grasp the idea of NO FOOD, NO DRINKS, and NO CELL PHONES. I do not get it; how is it that nobody can simply leave their phone in the car for 1.5 hours of their life? I cannot fathom why people have to freak out in hissy fits whenever they are reprimanded for breaking these common sense rules. Some of these people have been coming to these meetings, with the same rules from day one, for years! And they break the same rules every time, and whine to the counselor every time, and act like the rule had never been enforced every time, and claim that the rule is stupid every time…Ya know, I wouldn’t care what the rules are, if it means I get my medicine and can go on with my life without the bullsh*t I used to have to deal with while seeking heroin all the time, SO BE IT! I would jump through flaming hoops and bear crawl across the waiting room naked if that was the rules! I often feel like I am sitting in on a kindergarten class having snack time and story hour before nap when I am at the clinic for group. The erratic and senseless thoughts that are often shared are never on topic, never beneficial to anybody listening, and often times I leave the group feeling worse than before I arrived. I often question why I even go! But I then remember that I am there for guidance, assistance, knowledge, fellowship, and to honor the work and caring nature of the amazing saints that run the methadone clinic. I am so thankful that there are even people in this world that put up with us under-developed, mentally broken, immature, attention-deficit disorder drug addicts, anyway!  Let alone deal with the crap they do on a daily basis.

When I was still using, every aspect of my life was a living hell, and life for me since attending the clinic has turned into heaven. I have accomplished so much, I have gained and learned so much, I have grown, changed, and all of this is because I actually appreciate my life and the people that are working to help me have a decent one, free of the nightmare of daily heroin slavery. When I see and hear these complaining, ungrateful, ‘always having tons of dramatic issues’ in their life, welfare wasting, selfish, grumpy bastards that hate and whine about every little thing that doesn’t go their way, or every time they break the rules over and over for years without getting it through their sedated and over-dosed skulls, I cannot help but think how easy their addiction must have been. I try to grasp how the life of methadone maintenance is so hard on a person, when these are people coming out of opiate slavery. I know what REAL heroin addiction is like, and it is living in a garage with stray cats and feces all over the concrete floor. It is no shower for a year, no food for a week at a time, no heat, no air conditioning, no NOTHING! Nothing but misery, pain, piss bottles, bagging your sh*t to pitch in someone’s trash whenever you emerge from your dark padded corner, bone-breaking withdrawals, suffering, isolation, loneliness, insanity, degradation, disgusting deprived debauchery! It is pulling out your own rotten teeth in the dark having no lights, no way of attaining dentistry, or even affording Orajel…It is draining the pus from your infected abscesses, wiping yourself with dirty socks having no toilet, no toilet paper…I think I will stop all the horrorable insights to my heroin pleasure cruise…

And the methadone clinic is something to complain about? Having to take medicine every morning is something to cry about? Missing counseling appointments and crying about paying the fees, do you even give a sh*t about your recovery or your life? How about the counselor’s time that you wasted!? These complainers in the methadone clinic are really just pathetic, selfish, self-absorbed, careless individuals, and I really question sometimes why I am working to serve this population of ungrateful bastards… (as I am in school to be a substance abuse counselor, I published a book to help heroin addicts, and do this blog) but I can see the larger picture. And I see God’s precious children being destroyed by the things of this world, and I intend to spread the life-saving Gospel of Jesus Christ, and share the wisdom and knowledge I have acquired and benefited from myself in my transition from living in hell to preparing for heaven.

God bless all the methadone clinic counselors and doctors, nurses and supporters! You deserve a whole lot better than what you get from these masses of addicts that disrespect and mistreat your kind, caring, compassionate, and well-natured service.